Shrekposting After Another 8 Hour Grind
Shrekposting After Another 8 Hour Grind
Blog Article
Man, this schlep really drains. I'm so dead I could just lay down. All I wanna do is drink some juice and stare at the ceiling for days. But first, gotta post a few Onion Knight memes to defeat the boredom. Life is a swamp real rollercoaster, man.
The climb up the corporate ladder is merely a trek towards Shrek's swamp
Sure, they tell you it's all about hunger, about ascending to the top and ruling your little kingdom. They paint a picture of wealth, but let me tell you, that shiny penthouse suite with its panoramic view? It's just another lonely tower in Shrek's swamp.
Get ready for long days, power lunches that go nowhere, and a never-ending parade of backstabbing coworkers. Your aspirations? They'll get swallowed up in the mire like another unfortunate tourist who wandered into this wretched swamp.
- And don't even get me started on the dress code. You think your suits will impress anyone down here?
- Trust me, you'll be wishing for a good pair of rain gear
When you find yourself climbing that ladder, pause and ask yourself: Is this really what I want? Or am I just trapped by the system, only to end up like every other lost soul in Shrek's swamp?
Heading: "Important Meeting" - My Inner Self: "Like an Onion, Shrek."
You know that feeling when your manager sends out an email with/about/regarding a meeting and the subject line just screams "urgency/importance/significance"? Yeah, well, my soul is currently experiencing something akin to a cinematic onion. Layered with anxiety/dread/a healthy dose of WTF, each layer reveals/hides/uncovers another questionable/confusing/intriguing detail about the meeting's purpose.
Is it a performance review? A team-building exercise/activity/nightmare? Or, perhaps, the unveiling of a revolutionary/disastrous/slightly off-brand new company initiative? Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a meeting about how to best prepare for/survive/celebrate an alien invasion.
- I crave coffee. Like, a metric ton of coffee.
- Perhaps it's wise to busy with something else.
- Should I even bother checking the calendar for next week?
This Spreadsheet Could Be Done Faster With Ogre Strength
Look, this spreadsheet is a real pain. I'm drowning in data and formulas, my brain is fried, and the deadline is looming like a hungry goblin. It wouldn't take some serious muscle to get this thing done. I'm talking about the kind of power that only an ogre. This ain't a job for your average office worker, this is heavy lifting work.
- Perhaps it's time to a legion of trolls?
- This document demands a supercomputer
- I'm about to require extra hours
Weekend? Nah, I'm Just Going Back to My Layer Cake of Papers
The idea of relaxation this weekend is just ridiculous. My desk is currently a monument of documents, each one demanding my undivided care. Honestly, I'm more excited about conquering this stack of assignments than I am about savoring some Netflix. Maybe a weekend session of caffeine and scanning is more my speed.
Full Time Work Makes Me Feel Like a Donkey in a Corporate Stable
I'm trapped in this office monster. Every day feels like I'm trundling along, just another donkey in the system. I'm wrung dry from pushing this load day after day. I long about escaping.
- Maybe I'll become a farmer and actually be around animals that enjoy their work.
- {Or maybe I'll start my own business and finally find peace.
- {Whatever it is, I know I can't stay here forever.{ It's just not healthy.